


When I See You Again

by Asahi_9L1314



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, Slice of Life, Yup the whole contract thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24178942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asahi_9L1314/pseuds/Asahi_9L1314
Summary: I know we loved to hit the road and laughBut something told me that it wouldn’t lastHad to switch up,  look at things different, see the bigger pictureThose were the days hard work forever paysNow I see you in a better place
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	When I See You Again

It has been almost 2 months since he last saw Sebastian. 

58 days to be exact. 

It is not that Lewis was counting or had set up some sort of countdown app on his phone. He just knows. Because everyday passing without seeing that particular person, racing against that person, hugging, cheering, and celebrating with that person, or even just crashing with that person, make his life feel a little bit harder and emptier. 

Of course, they talked here and there via messages. And the last one was a week ago when Lewis asked him to join a sim race for fun at a really late time. They both are not big fans of sim racing, and he knew Sebastian probably had gone to bed already, but he just couldn’t help and wanted to find something to say, just anything. 

Lewis knows he is getting used to it, lockdown and everything. And he actually appreciates the me-time and the rare chance that he can actually take a break to reflect and recharge. But at the same time, the quietness and the no more distractions also force him to think about things that he has been intentionally putting aside or just avoiding for the past years. 

Like, the relationship between him and Sebastian. 

The red warrior that he clung so hard to and said: “You have to stay and fight me next year” again and again to after the last game.

The long-waiting winner that he hugged and almost kissed uncontrollably in front of the media, the fans, and the world in Singapore.

The funny racer that kept interrupting his interview to complain about the seagulls in the track and got everyone’s attention in just a split second when it was meant to be his screen time. 

The youngest champions to win F1 titles in 4 consecutive years that he envied but also respected so much even during his lowest time.

The only one who has been with him on so many podiums all along.

The only one who has been with him in so many press conferences all along.

The only one who has been chasing him and chased by him all along. 

The only one who truly understands his highs and lows all along. 

The gorgeous cheerful boy he met in one normal afternoon during the F3 series who was the only one came to talk to him and even offered to show him around without knowing it was actually his second year to compete there.

It has always been him. Sebastian Vettel.

So many things have changed. So many people come and go. And Sebastian is one of the few constants that he can hold on to. Like a rock in his life.

Lewis knows, at some point long while ago, he started to see Sebastian more than just a pal, a rival, or a good friend. And he thinks, maybe, just maybe, the other person sees him in the same way too. Always stand an inch closer when they talk, always linger a second longer when they hug, always smile a bit wider when they look into each other’s eyes. 

But he just never actually do anything about it. 

Maybe next weekend. He always tells himself. 

Because they always get to see each other again in a few days. So why rush? Why risk everything he has, they have, to cross the final line when they can dance around and take things slow until the spotlight is no longer on them one day. 

But the present fact and the current situation hit him hard. 

The first time in his life, lewis realizes there is no guarantee that they will be racing each other every weekend. And when they are not in the cars chasing each other as rivals, they are actually nothing. No more reason to stand together, to hug, to laugh, to cheer, to even just talk. Lewis even feels hard to scramble some words to put in a text message. 

Everything is so unreachable all of a sudden. 

And besides everything, there is also the contract thing. 

Lewis drops his phone and just slumps back in his sofa after inevitably saw another rumor on his social media feed. Roscoe is startled by his sudden movement but soon falls back to sleep next to him. 

It has been months since Ferrari started the contract talks with the German. Lewis knows, even with the crazy situation they are facing right now, it shouldn’t take Sebastian this long to make a decision, cuz he is always one of the few that stay true to his heart and knows what he wants. 

Something must be going on, his instinct tells him. And that’s why he has been consciously, unconsciously slowing down his contract reviewing process to wait. He just hopes by doing this, he might be able to save some wiggle room for the German, even though he knows there is actually not much he can do. 

When he is just so deep in his thoughts, his phone suddenly rings. 

The vibration startles both him and Roscoe. Lewis looks at the name on the screen and immediately stands up in surprise. 

He quickly walks outside to the balcony and clears his throat before picking up the call.

“Hello?” 

A sense of nervousness hits him out of nowhere. It is just not normal for Sebastian to call him. 

Then a cheerful voice that he has been missing so much comes from the other side.

“Hi, Lewis. Still alive?” 

And his heart skips a beat just like that. He can almost picture the tiny smile on the other’s face. 

“Since I am talking to you right now, I guess I am?” 

And he thinks he smiles too. 

Then it is just silence. Lewis can hear the faint steady breath from the other side while feeling the evening breeze caresses his face. He kind of wants to just stay like this with the German as long as the universe possibly allows, but also wants to know what Sebastian wants to tell him. 

“So, hm, so what’s up?” 

Lewis breaks the silence first.

Sebastian on the other side just takes in a deep breath, like making a big decision. 

“You know, I used to think everything will just stay the same for a long while. February testing, March Albert Park, racing, podiums, champagne, conferences, summer break, more racing, interviews, interviews, and more interviews. And then repeats again.” 

Lewis chuckles when Sebastian starts to smile while speaking, “Yeah, man, a lot of talking.” 

“Almost more than racing at this point, not gonna lie.” Sebastian replies then continue, “But now I realize, it is always up to us to stop it or repeat it, or try to approach it in a different way.”

On that, Lewis’s heartbeat starts to pick up again. The topic seems to gradually drift to the area that he has been unconsciously worried about. 

“So I start to do the minus to my life, to see what is really important to me. And surprisingly”, Sebastian chuckles a bit, “even I minus F1 from my life, there is still one thing I don’t wanna lose.”

Lewis nervously licks his lips. His mouth feels so dry all of a sudden.

“……OK?”

Sebastian is amused, “What? You just gonna say OK? You don't want to ask what is it?”

Lewis lets out a nervous chuckle, “Then what is it?”

“No, too late. I am not gonna tell you now. You miss the chance.” Sebastian is back to the usual self with all the tease.

“Just, just tell me, Seb.” Lewis is too nervous to bicker around, “Please.”

Sebastian takes a few seconds before speaking up again.

“I am gonna make a big gamble. Probably one of the biggest I have ever made in my life, Lewis.” His tone still stays relax, but Lewis can sense the seriousness behind it.

“And before that, I promise myself, I need to first do the very thing that I have been thinking about and should have done all these years. And hope, I am not risking both of the most important things in my life at the same time. ” 

“……what, I mean, what are you talking about. You make me really nervous, mate……”

And before Lewis can say more, Sebastian just cuts his rumble off. 

“I love you.”

And everything just like…… switched off. 

Lewis gasps at the completely unexpected words, and his brain just stops working.

The silence is back in the call. None of them makes a sound, and the situation just hangs in the air as all the other unknowns. 

“……What?” Lewis almost can’t find his voice and only manages to say the most useless word in the world again.

And he can tell the other one immediately sounds a bit hurt and less confident, “I said what I said, and you don’t need to give any answers now.”

Then the call is hung up.

The busy tone finally awakes his brain. Lewis immediately dials back.

“You can’t just say things like that and just hang up!” He almost shouts as soon as Sebastian picks up the call. His heart almost bursts out while waiting. 

“Who says I can’t.”

“This, this is insane. I mean, we are not in the same place right now, we are in a Pandemic, we are not racing, and, and we are not even FaceTime-ing right now.’ Lewis covers his face with frustration. “This is just…… crazy.” He suddenly hates lockdown so much.

“But it doesn’t change any bits of what I said,” Sebastian says airily but also firmly. 

Lewis holds his breath again. He never ever thought Sebastian would be so open and pliant with him on their relationship. 

“……but it does hurt when I can’t just hug you and kiss your soul out right here right now.” So he replies.

It hurts when you are being brave for both of us and say your feelings out loud but I can’t just touch you, hug you, and kiss you, so tight and so hard, as my firmest answer.

Sebastian chuckles, sounds warm and a little bit shy, “I guess you are just as insane as me.” 

“Can I at least FaceTime you right now?”

“No, I have a big gamble waiting.” Sebastian definitely sounds more assured than before now.

Lewis knows whatever Sebastian is referring to, it is something Lewis should just take a step back, respect and support. 

“Then please just promise me you are not putting your career in any sort of gamble.” He really doesn't have a good feeling about this.

Sebastian pauses for a moment but continues, “……You will find out.”

After the call, Sebastian finally puts down his phone and takes in a deep deep breath. 

It has always been Lewis, isn’t it?

The one that his eyes are always searching for. The one that he is never able to take his eyes off. 

He fights against himself so hard to chase him, to get close to him, to try to stay longer with him since day one. 

They have been through all the changes and all the up-and-downs. 

They have been far away. They have been close.

They battled against each other. They stood by each other. 

And if there is one last thing he wants to do in F1 before he has to step out, he just wants to have the last ride with him. Same car, same team, same target. 

Lewis once joked in a joint interview that instead of switching teams, why not think about them in the same team. 

And what is a better time to make it happen than now? Sebastian thinks to himself. It is just either he gets the seat or he is completely out. 

He then signs his name on the final version of the official statement and sends the document back to the Ferrari team.

After that, he picks up the phone again and rings the number that belongs to a certain British team principal that based in London to deliver his decision. 

_We still need to FaceTime and talk, a proper talk._

Sebastian looks at his phone, Lewis just sent him a text. 

_And, I love you too._

He smiles while reading the text on the notification and leaves the actual chat unread for now. 

_We’ve come a long way from where we began  
I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again_

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of sleep... and it is really rough I know...  
> Though I have been mentally preparing for his departure in the past 2 months, it is still really hard to process. But no matter what, as long as Seb is happy. :)  
> And I can only pray he will not choose retirement after this year.
> 
> Anyways, the song has been stuck in my head since the announcement and I hope by writing this, I can finally get the feelings out and get back to the other series. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Your thoughts will be really welcomed!  
> And hope you enjoy~


End file.
